Moms, you really are amazing! We are so hard on ourselves and expect perfection every day but you’re doing so much better than you think!
You work and you strive and you sacrifice. Most of all you LOVE and that’s really all that matters in the end.
Keep being the wonderful women that you are. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
Happy Mother’s Day moms! A few years ago I had a child that was making choices that I wasn’t happy about and this went on for quite a while. Needless to say it became very painful and hard for me not obsess about this child and not worry persistently. But it was bleeding into my relationships with my other children. I was worrying and upset constantly until it finally got to the point where it was clear that there was really nothing I could do for this child.
Now, this was a very hard realization for me because I’m articulate and I was used to solving problems with words. I was used to reading books, pulling them out, using scripture, talks and all those kind of things to solve problems. So, I wrote letters, I called this child on the phone, I was there for them and we still had a relationship going on but it became clear to me at one point that there was nothing I could say or do that was going to change the circumstances. I was not going to make them change; to make different choices or change the way that they were living their life. I had to finally get to the point where I was ready to accept this limitation in my own mothering experience.
In all the years of being a mother, I had never really been faced with such a difficult situation and felt so helpless as a mom. This challenge brought me to my knees. I told God that I had done all that I could and that I was putting this child’s life into His hands. I told Him that I was still going to be there and I was still going to do everything that I felt that I could do. If I felt some kind of inspiration to do something then I would follow that but that I couldn’t reach this child and I needed Him to. That was a turning point in my experience as a mom because I had always leaned on God and prayed and involved Him in our lives but this was a time, when I was completely helpless, I was forced to leave everything in His hands.
Miracles took place! That child returned, and came back stronger than ever! They are thriving and having a wonderful life. It was a super important learning opportunity for me and I just want to tell you on this Mother’s Day that you’re doing much better than you think you are.
I’ll never forget all during this whole experience, every time I would cry or get upset or worry, I would go to my husband and he said the same thing to me over and over and over again. He always said, “Trust the foundation. Trust the foundation that we have laid. We have paid a big price for a long time to be there for this child, to teach this child and most of all, to love this child. Just trust that they’ll return to that foundation.” And they did.
So I want to just offer some words of encouragement today. I want to let you know how much I care about you, how much I pray for you and how much I think about you. I run this organization for you because motherhood matters, motherhood matters so much and you matter way more than you think you do. You do so much better and do much more good than you think you do.
There’s a really awesome book called The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. He was a very gifted and brilliant psychiatrist and he wrote several books. He tells really amazing stories in his books and shares some really cool information. I want to read you something he said because through this experience with my child it’s something that I hung on to.
He says that, “Even more important than role modeling is love, for even in chaotic and disordered homes genuine love is occasionally present and from such homes may come self-disciplined children. Not infrequently, parents who are professional people, doctors, lawyers, club women and philanthropists, who lead lives of strict orderliness and decorum but yet lack love, send children into the world who are as undisciplined and destructive and disorganized as any child from an impoverished and chaotic home.”
Ultimately love is everything and that’s what I learned through this experience with this child. I learned that all those years of love weren’t wasted – that they mattered – that they were implanted in the heart of this child. That that child knew that they had value and that they were loved. That my husband was absolutely right and they did return to their foundation. But even if they hadn’t, even if they were still struggling and I was still extending love day by day it would still matter. Love would still be doing it’s beautiful work of healing and saving others.
So pat yourself on the back today. Take time to think about all your successes. Think about all the wonderful things that you’ve done so far as a mother; especially all the ways that you have loved unconditionally, day in and day out, those little children that came to your home. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of being a mother and enjoy this wonderful Mother’s Day!