It is amazing how we all get overwhelmed and frustrated with ourselves, our kids and our lives. Yet, so often the solution to our current struggle is right under our nose and we just can’t see it.
This ONE THING, this simple question you can ask yourself at any moment, brings everything back into focus so quickly. And it’s amazing that no matter how many times you ask, the answer ALWAYS appears!
Full Transcript
Welcome back Mission Driven Moms! I’ve been running a little test group for the Mission Driven Mom Academy that I’ve been developing over the last few months – which will be ready this fall. There are a few women who have been going through the curriculum with me and have been giving me feedback. Recently we have been going over some self-discovery materials and we had this really great discussion. Afterward, there were a lot of things going on in these women’s minds and one woman in particular went into the Facebook members group and began talking about how she has so many things to do. She was explaining that she is a leader of a community and she has a bunch of kids at home who she is trying to homeschool. She’s also trying to work on her own education and do the MDM Academy just as a favor to me. She is really awesome and I really appreciate it.
So, we were all talking about these self-discovery ideas and she posted this question/thought: “It seems as though there is not enough time or energy in the day to do all the things that need to be done. Although I know that getting more sleep and eating the right things and exercising would “theoretically” give me more energy. Hypothetically, creating rituals, including rest and paying attention to physical, emotional mental and spiritual energy will increase my capacity and productivity. But,” she explained, “there is also the advice to slow down when you are experiencing turbulence.”
Now, there is probably a very good chance that you moms who are reading this know exactly how she feels! You’re strung out. You have a lot of things going on and you’re not even sure if you are doing a lot of things well that you’re supposed to be doing. So, this mom was venting expressing what all moms feel – that she didn’t know where to put her time and energy and was feeling overwhelmed by all of her responsibilities.
So I chimed in and asked her this, “What is the one thing your conscience keeps nagging you to do?” And she replied back, “Organize my home and home systems – such as meals. That’s funny, because it is the one thing that keeps getting pushed to lowest priority even though if my home was running smoothly and organized, it would make everything else easier and free up time and energy to do the other things. How did you do that? You’re magic.”
Now, I’m not magic at all. I asked one really great question. It is a question I’ve asked a lot of students and women that I have mentored over the years. Every time I ask it, it just seems to work like, “like magic.” I’m going to ask you that same question.
What is the one thing you know you’re supposed to do right now?
And, without exception, when I ask this question, you always know! There is something that just comes to your mind and the beautiful magic is not me or the question – it is your conscience.
Your conscience is always going to let you know what’s the one thing you should be doing right now that would solve some problem that you’re faced with or help you get more information with whatever you are struggling with the most. When I say “the one thing,” that one thing that comes to mind, almost without fail and listening to that one thing makes all the difference! That is what happened with this woman. She thought, “Wow! I had all these things on my list that I had to do and I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed and when we brought it down to one thing, I knew what to do.” Of course, organizing her home isn’t just one task, there are multiple tasks she has to do. It’s going to be some work to get that done. But I think it is fascinating that she said, “I keep putting it to lowest priority.” Because this is the other thing we often do. When we’re not getting the results we want in our lives but we have this nagging feeling of something that we should probably do, sometimes it’s the one thing we don’t want to do.
I’ll never forget one woman who asked me to mentor her. In order to get to know her better, I had her answer a whole bunch of questions and we had a handful of meetings. Her life was really chaotic and out of control. After getting her answers to my questions, I filtered it all down and made a request of her. I told her, “I’m having a hard time getting a handle on what might need to be the biggest priorities for you and why you keep saying that you don’t have enough time. We need to get to the bottom of that. That is the common theme that keeps coming up. So this is what I want you to do before we meet next week. For at least three days, I want you to stop every hour or so, get out a piece of paper, (you could use your phone, a computer or whatever you want to use) and write down what you’ve been doing for the last hour. Catalog how you have been using your time during the day, so we have something concrete we can look at. That way, we can see how you are using your time. Then we can work with that information because right now, we just don’t have enough information.” When I had finished explaining what I wanted her to do, she started laughing really hard. She laughed and laughed and laughed. I asked her, “Why are you laughing? Why is this so funny?” She said, “That is the thing my husband has been asking me to do for months.” Well, unfortunately in her case she didn’t follow through.
Here’s the hard but awesome part – when we commit ourselves to growth and we commit ourselves to be better, we have the aid of our conscience all the time. My challenge is to carry that question with you wherever you are: “What is the one thing I know I should do right now? In my life? In my day? In this moment?”
And KNOW that you will be guided. That answer will always come. But recognize that a lot of times it will be the answer you don’t want. It will be something that you’re not wanting to hear.
My daughter is working on what she calls “the happiness experiment.” Every month she does a new project. She came to me recently with her latest experiment and asked me, “This month I am focused on increasing my capacity, so what are some fears you think I have? Where do you think I need to increase my capacity?” I replied, “Well, what’s the next thing you need to do in your life?” She knew what it was and it’s the ONE thing with which she has some bad memories from the last time she did it. Naturally, she has some fears about moving forward and doing it again. She knows she needs to do it with her whole heart. It’s hard to accept but that’s the liberating process.
You feel stuck, you feel bogged down, you feel like you’re not sure how to move forward. So, you ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I need to do.” You accept it, even if it is the one thing you don’t want to do and then you find that life gets better. Because, just like this mom in the Academy said, she realized, “It’s the one thing that keeps getting pushed to lowest priority even though, if my home was running smoothly and organized, it would make everything else easier and free up time and energy to do the other things.”
This is precisely why it works. Your conscience, God and grace create forward movement in the universe. They want you to grow and be better by doing the next thing you need to do. Amazingly, YOU KNOW! As you ask the question the answer will be provided. As you do it you’ll notice that life gets a little better and you learn some things. This woman recognizes that other stuff in her life sounds funner; that putting her house in order sounds boring; it sounds hard; it sounds monotonous so she had been pushing it to the background. Ironically, avoiding it was making all the other parts of her life harder.
That’s my challenge to you this week. Ask yourself this question and have the courage to follow through. Go to the mastermind Facebook group, comment on this post and tell us what is the one thing you are supposed to do. This would be a great goal to set on Monday in the FB group!
If you don’t belong to our mastermind group, please go request to join The Mission Driven Mom Mastermind Facebook group because that’s where we all support and help each other; where we set goals on Monday and report our successes on Friday. We also have Facebook Live trainings and all kinds of cool stuff. If for some reason you have not gotten a copy of The Mission Driven Life yet, please go to the home page and grab your copy of the book. Start reading and learning the 7 Laws of Life Mission so that you can prepare yourself. Remember, God does have a call for you, and He’s waiting for you to prepare yourself.