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“Love is not simply giving; it is judicious giving and judicious withholding as well. It is judicious praising and judicious criticizing. It is judicious arguing, struggling, confronting, urging, pushing and pulling in addition to comforting. It is leadership.” ~M. Scott Peck
If, as mothers, we want to be leaders to our children, we must not only love them, but love them properly. It’s vital that we have a crystal clear understanding of the nature of love and how what Peck is teaching applies to us. The question then becomes, “How can we love judiciously and fully, developing our children to their highest potential?”
Listen to this episode to hear a clear definition of love that will help you judge how to love. You will also hear how “will” is linked to love, why you must choose to love yourself first before you can truly love, and why wisdom is key to beneficial loving.
Listener’s Guide:
Use the time stamps below to skip to any part of the podcast.
0:38 The Two Great Laws
2:50 An impactful definition of love
8:08 Why we must love ourselves to love others
10:33 How will is connected to love
18:30 Why wisdom is key to truly loving
24:17 A question that generates love
Quotes from this episode:
“Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” ~Matthew 22:36-39
“Love, in the Christian sense, does not mean emotion. It is a state not of the feelings, but of the will.” ~CS Lewis
“[Love is] the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” ~M. Scott Peck
“Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more.” ~C.S. Lewis
“Indeed, as has been pointed out, we are incapable of loving another unless we love ourselves, just as we are incapable of teaching our children self-discipline unless we ourselves are self-disciplined. It is actually impossible to forsake our own spiritual development in favor of someone else’s. We cannot forsake self-discipline and at the same time be disciplined in our care for another. We cannot be a source of strength unless we nurture our own strength. As we proceed in our exploration of the nature of love, I believe it will become clear that not only do self-love and love of others go hand in hand but that ultimately they are indistinguishable.” ~M. Scott Peck
“They are told they ought to love God. They cannot find any such feeling in themselves. What are they to do? The answer is the same as before. Act as if you did. Do not sit trying to manufacture feelings. Ask yourself, ‘If I were sure that I loved God, what would I do?’ When you have found the answer, go and do it.” ~C.S. Lewis
“Indeed, if one can say that one has built genuinely loving relationships with a spouse and children, then one has already succeeded in accomplishing more than most people accomplish in a lifetime.” ~M. Scott Peck
“Call it what you will, genuine love, with all the discipline that it requires, is the only path in this life to substantial joy. Take another path and you may find rare moments of ecstatic joy, but they will be fleeting and progressively more elusive. When I genuinely love I am extending myself, and when I am extending myself I am growing. The more I love, the longer I love, the larger I become. Genuine love is self-replenishing. The more I nurture the spiritual growth of others, the more my own spiritual growth is nurtured.” ~M. Scott Peck
“Love is not simply giving; it is judicious giving and judicious withholding as well. It is judicious praising and judicious criticizing. It is judicious arguing, struggling, confronting, urging, pushing and pulling in addition to comforting. It is leadership.” ~M. Scott Peck
“Love is a verb. Love—the feeling—is a fruit of love, the verb.” ~Stephen R. Covey
“Nobody can always have devout feelings: and even if we could, feelings are not what God principally cares about. Christian Love, either towards God or towards man, is an affair of the will. If we are trying to do His will we are obeying the commandment, ‘Thou shalt love the Lord thy God.’ He will give us feelings of love if He pleases.” ~C.S. Lewis
“In reality, moral rules are directions for running the human machine. Every moral rule is there to prevent a breakdown, or a strain, or a friction, in the running of that machine.” ~C.S. Lewis
Books from this episode:
